CHIKNAAYI

I knew the meaning of ‘chikna’ and ‘chikni’ – the male and female adjectives meaning ‘attractive’ in colloquial Hindi.

This lock-down taught me what ‘chiknaayi’ means!

Well, the fact that I am seeing extra amounts of ghee and butter and oil in our meals is not a conspiracy, mind you. I love my food enriched by these heavenly lubricants, so no complaints there. The issue starts when the plates and utensils used for preparing and serving this food accumulate in the kitchen sink.

Let me make this abundantly clear – the wife has always been quite efficient and is not known to procrastinate. But these days she just lets things be, if you know what I mean. Probably waiting for a miracle – the miracle being yours truly of course! So, from time to time, I take the cue and pull up my sleeves.

For your information, the utensils used for boiling milk, heating oil for ‘tadka’, making ghee, chhaas and butter, are the worst kind. If you are not used to holding greasy crockery in one hand while washing it with a soapy scrub in the other, things may get out of hand… Literally!

Just the other day, a plate (belonging to my beloved’s beloved crockery set) slipped from my hand while attempting the above manoeuvre; I barely managed to catch it before it hit the platform. But it did not miss the keen eye of the missus, who expectedly quipped – ‘it may be called ‘china’ but it ain’t Chinese! Be careful!’

Now, have you realised that because of the way plates and utensils are piled on top of each other in the sink, the bottom portions of these utensils tend to be greasier than the tops. As a result, more often than not, the grease transfers to your hands and it becomes quite difficult to hold them and for the chiknaayi to get scrubbed away. Periodically washing your hands with soap seems to do the trick.

The afore-mentioned ‘keen eye of the missus’ is also watching the consumption of soap. A reproving stare from that direction is enough to make you learn a quick lesson about the economies of the household.

You would be in error to assume that once the utensils are washed, you can proceed to your favourite sofa for a deserving lie-down in front of the TV. No Sir!

The splashes of water around the rims of the sink and on the kitchen platform nearby need to be wiped clean with a small mop. Another discovery for me was the removable filter over the sink’s drain; this too must be cleaned – debris removed, washed and placed back over the drain.

The height of the sink is a tad lower than my back would have approved of. But the very visible discomfort on my now sweaty countenance is somehow invisible to the keen eye of the missus – she leaves the kitchen, only to return a few moments later to survey the aftermath.

The inspection goes well and she praises me saying ‘the bartan are so clean that I don’t have to rinse them again before use, the way I had to after our now M-I-A Baai’.

We all know that if we are good at something, we end up being tasked with it again and again. In office, when the boss praises my work, a silly smile dons my face and I mumble something like ‘well, what can I say…’ under my breath while being invariably egged on to the next assignment.

The same silly smile is nowadays making a frequent appearance every time my wife says, ‘wow, no chiknaayi!’